The Marriage Report

Here are 10 tips to help you maintain a healthy marriage from the Sangsters:

1. Be Appreciative- Tell your spouse that you appreciate them and everything they do for you, even the small things.


2. Be Committed- stand strong in your commitment to save your marriage and make it healthy again. If you don't stand up for your own marriage, who will? God gives you more strength than you can ever imagine.


3. Be Communicative- Keep those lines of communication open with your spouse. Talk to them daily and just discuss family matters and matters of the heart with them. It shows inclusion and promotes openness. You should also make your requests known to God, who will hear your prayers and help you in your walk to have a healthy marriage.
   Personal Note: James and I talk on the phone EVERYDAY about some of everything that matter to us. He gets in his 15,000 words for sure. But ladies, I have found that the best time to just get out your 25,000- 100,000 words that they say we need to get out daily is when the spouses are on their way to sleep or following them around the house. It is actually a lot of fun, at least in my household.


4. Be Encouraging- Say words of encouragement to your spouse. When they do something great, tell them that they did a great job or good work. It can only encourage them to keep pleasing you, right?
   Personal Note: James has a lot of "swagga" which is a slang term that means he has style. I learned that word from our "almost" 17 year old son. Anyway, I love encouraging James on his style of dress, his neckties, how well he mows the lawn and prune the roses, etc. And you know what? All of us have so much "swagga" that just gets our spouses turning cartwheels. Tell them how good they look to you and how much you love how they drill the nail, park the car, wash the car, wash the dishes, cook dinner, wear those high heels, etc. It really matters and makes a difference on your relationship with them. If "swagga" isn't a word for you, create one that you and your spouse can relate to that says "you rock my world honey when you....."


5. Be Genuine- In your communications, have a spirit of genuineness and not sighing, pouting or complaining about something. If you have been with them long enough, they will detect if you are genuine or just doing it for self gain. Do it in love!


6. Be Fearless- I love this one because God has NOT given us the spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind. Don't be afraid to try new things in your marriage to make it more enjoyable. Go someplace new (even if it's to a new park or restaurant), try a new bedroom move (just don't hurt yourself), try a new perfume/cologne to entice your spouse (or as the old timers used to say, a new "come and get me sauce"). Just don't be afraid to do it. This is YOUR spouse and you are entitled to have a great time with them. And the best thing about it is "IT'S 100% LEGAL) Oh Yeah baby!


7. Be Fun- Did you ever have fun with your spouse early on in your marriage or during the engagement stage? I know you both hung out and took walks in the park, went to the beach, baseball games, basketball games, plays, movies, etc. You did things that were fun and enjoyable for both of you. So why do you think that you can't still have fun because you are married now?
   Personal Note: I cannot tell you how much fun James and I have. It is so natural, that people see it when we are together on the street, in stores and around others. We truly have fun together and we would not have it any other way.


8. Be Honest- Be sincere and truthful in your communications. If you are worried or hurting about something, talk about it honestly. You know when the door is opened for that honest communication with your spouse, so don't be afraid to do it. God has not given you the spirit of fear so allow God to lead you and you will NOT go wrong.


9. Be Humorous- Didn't you ever laugh when you were dating your spouse? Surely somebody cracked a joke or two in the relationship. You cannot tell me that you didn't laugh at jokes, movies, falling down, getting up or just silly things. But you know, those things gave you both hope and lightened the load of just being in a relationship. Remember, laughter is good relationship medicine and should be practiced as often as you can do it.
   Personal Note: James and I laugh more now than we did back when we were courting (yeah, I did say courting). We both are a couple of characters but it makes our relationship so much better.


10. Be a Listener- There are times when our spouses just want a listening ear. Don't be too busy to be a listener when your spouse needs to talk. You did talk all night when you were dating right? I bet you couldn't get enough of talking to them on the phone or in person. The difference now is that you don't tell them to go home and come back tomorrow, because you are living under the same household. Lend that ear to them and they will cherish it!
    Personal Note: James and I spend time listening to each other quite a bit. I usually get in my listening time when he is out in the yard or relaxing in his recliner. I usually get him to listen more when it's time for bed. Yep, I literally talk him to sleep! It's fun!
    

Some people don't want to hear it, but the reality is this, if you are not fulfilling your role as the spouse that God wants you to be, someone else will be happy to try and fill it for you. NOT on God's watch baby! Tell that devil he is a liar from the pits of hell and don't let that happen in your marriage!! Take Charge of what you need to do to keep your marriage healthy. You have to be committed to doing what it takes to keep it presentable in the eyes of God, so the world can know what real marriages are made of.

Listen, God wants us to have marriages that glorify Him, so He will ensure that we can overcome the obstacles that sometimes easily beset us in this daily walk; we just have to put forth the effort first and be open to following God's instructions.

Now, go grow a healthy marriage...in Christ!

Click here for part 1 of how to grow a healthy marriage.