The Marriage Report

Hey there fabulous readers! Our sincere prayer is that God blesses you tremendously, uplift your spirits and hearken your hearts to HIM!

I read this article in the Washington Post newspaper by Patrick Welsh today, and just had to write about it. It was an article about African-American children, especially males, not having their fathers there to support them as they make their way through school. I found the article to be very interesting and it touched on a very important, yet sensitive part of children growing up in single parent households. I should first mention that this is not a bash against any man, African-American or any other race, because God made him and I appreciate all that God created. This is about an article review and my own personal testimony.

Let me first say that my dad was not around initially when I was growing up and we did not reconnect until I was 21, and I turned out OK; I think. We have a fabulous relationship through the love of God now, and it has certainly made up for many lost years. I am thankful to God for restoring our relationship in a way that only He could accomplish. Personally, I think that it is critical for any child to have both parents in the household, regardless of their race. I missed having that male figure around and sought acceptance and guidance from my older brothers and other males outside of my immediate home. This is not to say that I desperately needed that acceptance, but I wanted something I did not have, and that was a full family. Now my mom and grandma did a great job of rearing my siblings and me. I thank God everyday for them, but there was something missing that they could not give me and that was my father.

Now listen, I know some parents rear their children as single parents for various reasons; I reared my two as a single parent for a while. However, when fathers can be there to help raise their children, they should be. I am not a man and I cannot speak for a man, but I can speak from someone who was once a child and longed for her father’s love and presence. Children need their fathers! This article talks about the importance of fathers being in the home to help discipline and teach their children the right way to go. The bible tells us in Proverbs 22:6 to “train up a child in the way he should go: when he is old, he will not depart from it.” I am not saying that a woman cannot train her children, but it is nice when fathers are there to help do it.

The article touches on that very importance of men being in the home to help rear children, teach them the importance of education, getting good grades, for boys to be a real man and for girls to demand respect and be treated as such. I personally thought it was a great article. Of course, it is my own personal opinion and we all have one, but check it out for yourself here and you be the judge.

Yours in Christ

The Lovable Wife

“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we can ask or think, according to the power that works in us” Ephesians 3:20

Just how big is our God? When we think about all of the things that run through our mind on a daily basis, all of the things that we say on a daily basis and all of the things that we ask about, we are only touching on a grain of salt of how big God is! He can cater to the needs of the WHOLE world at the same time!! Why does He love us so much? Why is it that He constantly forgives us for the things we say, the things we think and the things we do? Is it because we have been phenomenal women 24/7? Is it because we are “Da” MAN to our homeboys? Is it because we helped an elderly lady with her bags? Is it because we give to charity? The bible tells us that our works will NOT get us to the sweet by and by. But God’s commitment of unconditional love, mercy and grace is what sustains us.

When we look towards the hills from whence cometh our help, we can be confident that it is God that rises us up above the danger, sadness, depression, guilt, loneliness and hurt we feel sometimes. That is exceeding! God is amazing isn’t He? He wants us to think big things and do big things, but it comes with a teeny tiny price. The price is that we must take up our bed and follow him in total submission.

WHOA God! “Do you really want me to do that?” is often the question that we ask Him. But what God is saying is that the sacrificial offering which He gave of His only begotten son, is much more that we can ever give up with following Him in total submission. He will supply what you need and He can exceed all of our expectations.

Ok now, all together, "Lord I surrender and WILL follow you!"

You Did It!!! Now keep doing it!

Have A Blessed Day!

This post is not about someone we knew personally, but about the death of a woman of God that lived her life teaching others the word of God. Pastor Carol Daniels was found brutally murdered on August 23rd in her church, Christ Holy Sanctified Church, located in Anadarko, Oklahoma. Sources say she was found behind the altar of the church where she traveled to weekly, located 50 miles from her home to serve God by serving the community in that town.

We don't know the full details of what or why it happened, but our thoughts and prayers go out to her family and the people in the community that she served. No one deserves to die in that manner or any brutal manner because one of the 10 commandments states that "thou shalt not kill".

We need you prayer warriors to send your prayers to the late Pastor Carol Daniel's family and the lives that she touched, that will be affected by this tragedy. We also need to pray for Peace throughout this world daily anyway, in Jesus name.

More details of this story can be found here: Pastor Daniels

"I shall not, I shall not be moved
I shall not, I shall not be moved
Just like a tree that's standing by the water
I shall not be moved."


Psalms 18:2
The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, (just as the enemy has many ways to attach, God has many ways to defend) F44 in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.

Life has taught us, the enemy uses countless ways to levy an attack. An approach can come from the most secreted and even personal avenues in your life to the most obvious. Life has also taught us, God has countless ways to levy a defense against those sordid attacks. If only by our faith, like David we would trust God to fight our battles. In this verse David is so overwhelmed in his zeal he can only express his desire to trust in God by calling him names that fit his needs.

David refers to God as “strength,” “foundation,” “place of safety,” “fountain,” “deliverer,” “my strong God,” “defender,” and “horn of my salvation.” David knew and believed that in God, every angle of attack was covered by all, but one in the same . . . God.

When our car needs repair, do we take it to a grocery store? No we take it to a mechanic, a specialist, a dealer. When we are hungry, do we go to the news stand? No, we go to a restaurant, a fast food joint; our refrigerator. When our lives are faced with spiritual attacks, do we go to our bosses? No we go to God, the healer, the strong tower, the Boss! Believe this . . . David didn’t have confidence in God because he heard God was a deliverer. David believed in God because God had proven himself daily and through generations. God still proves himself to us and has proven himself through generations. Now we must trust and believe him for all he has promised us.

When we take that step and refuse to come down off the wall; when we stand when the enemy says run; when we hold onto our faith when everything around us is falling; we too will be able to cry out all those names David cried out in praise.

Elder James Sangster

Hi Precious Women,

God is always doing something fabulous in our lives each and every day. As I was reflecting on how far I have come in Christ, I realized that God had to free my mind in order for me to allow him to use me. The great thing about God is that he will not force himself on us, but allow us to open our hearts and minds to him. In the midst of allowing him to use me, I went through some tough times, cried many tears, over came some fears and let go of a lot of hurt that I was holding on to. I wrote the following poem because now I am FREE!

Free your mind from yesterday's tears,

Free your mind from yesterday's fears,

Free your mind from the words that broke you,

Free your mind from the hurt that over took you.

Free your mind from the burdens that you bared,

and all of those times you felt no one cared.

Be Free oh precious woman

from the chains and bondage that wasted your time,

for NOW your hopes, and dreams of many FREE tomorrows

is at the front of your heart and mind, forever!

By D Sangster
7/31/2009

"The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower." Psalm 18:2

Who do you rely on when times get tough? Do you focus on the situation or the person that can eliminate the situation? Do you get on the hell-a-phone or take your prayers to the throne of God? You see, only God can deliver us from our situations that we face and encounter in this daily walk of salvation. He gives us the strength when we think we can't make it another day. He gives us the joy when we think we can't smile again. He gives us the peace when we think there is just too much confusion going on around us.

You know what? Go is your high tower and that means that nothing can be above you because God is higher than that situation. Just place your trust and faith in the only one that can get you through any situation you might encounter.

Stay on the throne and be patient; God IS NOT finished with you yet!

Ok, divorce by any means is still divorce and we just don't like that word. We believe marriage is honorable and should be a sacred union between two people that have an undying love for each other, through Christ. Hence, it is a bit unsettling to hear that Nas and Kelis are calling it quits. Not only that, they are expecting their first child in a couple of weeks and are separated. Can anyone see why this is unsettling to us? What God has joined together should never be put asunder. Can all really be lost if they are seeking God for answers in working out their problems?

Here you have two young people that are in the public eye, getting all sorts of advice from many directions and choose to go with the, sshhhhh "D" word. I had to whisper that and not say it too loud because it just doesn't fit in the realm of what we believe. Have they sought counseling? Is anyone telling them to pray about their situation and try to work things out?

Several things are very clear from this story that we should pray about. Rich people are not exempt from having problems, issues, arguments, etc, so don't get it twisted, they are human too. The other thing is that we are at war between marriage and divorce. As the body of Christ, we need to ensure marriage wins!

Please lift them up in your prayers and lets continue to pray for marriages all over this world.

We are excited to promote the "Sisters In The Spirit 2009 Retreat" to be held from July 24- 26, 2009. Click the link for more information on the retreat and what Rev. Bernada Baker is doing to connect women in Christ!

Blog Link

Here are 10 tips to help you maintain a healthy marriage from the Sangsters:

1. Be Appreciative- Tell your spouse that you appreciate them and everything they do for you, even the small things.


2. Be Committed- stand strong in your commitment to save your marriage and make it healthy again. If you don't stand up for your own marriage, who will? God gives you more strength than you can ever imagine.


3. Be Communicative- Keep those lines of communication open with your spouse. Talk to them daily and just discuss family matters and matters of the heart with them. It shows inclusion and promotes openness. You should also make your requests known to God, who will hear your prayers and help you in your walk to have a healthy marriage.
   Personal Note: James and I talk on the phone EVERYDAY about some of everything that matter to us. He gets in his 15,000 words for sure. But ladies, I have found that the best time to just get out your 25,000- 100,000 words that they say we need to get out daily is when the spouses are on their way to sleep or following them around the house. It is actually a lot of fun, at least in my household.


4. Be Encouraging- Say words of encouragement to your spouse. When they do something great, tell them that they did a great job or good work. It can only encourage them to keep pleasing you, right?
   Personal Note: James has a lot of "swagga" which is a slang term that means he has style. I learned that word from our "almost" 17 year old son. Anyway, I love encouraging James on his style of dress, his neckties, how well he mows the lawn and prune the roses, etc. And you know what? All of us have so much "swagga" that just gets our spouses turning cartwheels. Tell them how good they look to you and how much you love how they drill the nail, park the car, wash the car, wash the dishes, cook dinner, wear those high heels, etc. It really matters and makes a difference on your relationship with them. If "swagga" isn't a word for you, create one that you and your spouse can relate to that says "you rock my world honey when you....."


5. Be Genuine- In your communications, have a spirit of genuineness and not sighing, pouting or complaining about something. If you have been with them long enough, they will detect if you are genuine or just doing it for self gain. Do it in love!


6. Be Fearless- I love this one because God has NOT given us the spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind. Don't be afraid to try new things in your marriage to make it more enjoyable. Go someplace new (even if it's to a new park or restaurant), try a new bedroom move (just don't hurt yourself), try a new perfume/cologne to entice your spouse (or as the old timers used to say, a new "come and get me sauce"). Just don't be afraid to do it. This is YOUR spouse and you are entitled to have a great time with them. And the best thing about it is "IT'S 100% LEGAL) Oh Yeah baby!


7. Be Fun- Did you ever have fun with your spouse early on in your marriage or during the engagement stage? I know you both hung out and took walks in the park, went to the beach, baseball games, basketball games, plays, movies, etc. You did things that were fun and enjoyable for both of you. So why do you think that you can't still have fun because you are married now?
   Personal Note: I cannot tell you how much fun James and I have. It is so natural, that people see it when we are together on the street, in stores and around others. We truly have fun together and we would not have it any other way.


8. Be Honest- Be sincere and truthful in your communications. If you are worried or hurting about something, talk about it honestly. You know when the door is opened for that honest communication with your spouse, so don't be afraid to do it. God has not given you the spirit of fear so allow God to lead you and you will NOT go wrong.


9. Be Humorous- Didn't you ever laugh when you were dating your spouse? Surely somebody cracked a joke or two in the relationship. You cannot tell me that you didn't laugh at jokes, movies, falling down, getting up or just silly things. But you know, those things gave you both hope and lightened the load of just being in a relationship. Remember, laughter is good relationship medicine and should be practiced as often as you can do it.
   Personal Note: James and I laugh more now than we did back when we were courting (yeah, I did say courting). We both are a couple of characters but it makes our relationship so much better.


10. Be a Listener- There are times when our spouses just want a listening ear. Don't be too busy to be a listener when your spouse needs to talk. You did talk all night when you were dating right? I bet you couldn't get enough of talking to them on the phone or in person. The difference now is that you don't tell them to go home and come back tomorrow, because you are living under the same household. Lend that ear to them and they will cherish it!
    Personal Note: James and I spend time listening to each other quite a bit. I usually get in my listening time when he is out in the yard or relaxing in his recliner. I usually get him to listen more when it's time for bed. Yep, I literally talk him to sleep! It's fun!
    

Some people don't want to hear it, but the reality is this, if you are not fulfilling your role as the spouse that God wants you to be, someone else will be happy to try and fill it for you. NOT on God's watch baby! Tell that devil he is a liar from the pits of hell and don't let that happen in your marriage!! Take Charge of what you need to do to keep your marriage healthy. You have to be committed to doing what it takes to keep it presentable in the eyes of God, so the world can know what real marriages are made of.

Listen, God wants us to have marriages that glorify Him, so He will ensure that we can overcome the obstacles that sometimes easily beset us in this daily walk; we just have to put forth the effort first and be open to following God's instructions.

Now, go grow a healthy marriage...in Christ!

Click here for part 1 of how to grow a healthy marriage.

Can we talk about the airplane just one more time? Even though the pilots have done a preflight check and all they can do to insure a flawless takeoff, there most certainly will always be obstacles to face after the plane has taken off. Flying is no different than other things that occur in our lives. Just when you think everything is going as planned, it doesn’t. There is carefully planned maintenance, test by engineers, pilots that have been rigorously trained in the mechanics of the plane and of course pre-flight checks. It just seems that when you think you are prepared for something that’s when you find out, you aren’t.


Listen, no amount of training that a pilot has taken; no amount of mechanical engineering and no amount of preflight preparation can prepare a pilot or co-pilot for ice that forms on the wings during flight. It is during this most critical time a pilot will take a critical test. The right decisions must be precisely made, control is critical, timing is of the utmost importance and no errors can be made. A pilot error at this point will make the difference whether an entire flight perishes or survives.


As was pointed out in Part 1, in a marriage a husband is the pilot. This pilot is responsible for the total success of the marriage. That is to say whether it succeeds to its destination or if it crashes and burns. In this situation, it really doesn’t matter what the condition of the copilot (wife) is, the pilot is in complete control. You should be aware that if this flight crashes, the manager of the airlines is not going to hold the co-pilot responsible, but the pilot. God expects husbands to rely on the training they have and the training that is available to them to ensure this flight arrives safely (with the co-pilot). Just in case some of the pilots out there aren’t too sure about their flight plan, here’s a note from section Isaiah 41:10 that says, "Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand."


Take control of that flight! Sometimes the co-pilot will think they know best, especially in the face of adversity, but the pilot is the first person the air traffic controller is going to talk to and hold accountable. In the flight manual (the bible), there are several sections you may need to read over to ensure you’ve got the right stuff for in-flight crisis. Here are a few for reference:

• "God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble." Psalm 46:1
• "The Lord is my strength, my shield from every danger. I trust in him with all my heart. In crisis we may wonder, whom can I trust? We can always trust the Lord." Psalm 28:7
• "From the depths of despair, O Lord, I call for your help. When we reach the, we reach the end of our rope, we must call upon the Lord, for our weaknesses are times for his strength; our crisis are his opportunities." Psalm 130:1
• "When I had lost all hope, I turned my thoughts once more to the Lord." Jonah 2:7
  

Remember, communication is the key to you and your spouse steering the plane to the airport, but God, who is the air traffic controller and holds the pilot accountable, paves the way for you to have a safe landing.

Have you ever taken a ride on an airplane? As you know, there is a pilot and co-pilot who steer and fly the plane. They work together and communicate with each other to ensure you have a safe flight and safe landing. Not all people understand what takes place when an airplane is preparing for landing, but quite a bit of communication takes place between the pilot and co-pilot, to ensure you have a safe landing.

First, the pilot calls off the various controls and the co-pilot will say something like “check” to confirm that the control is in place. If an error is made, they will consult with one another and the pilot will make the call again, until they are both on one accord. Additionally, they will call in to the control tower and speak with the air traffic controller, to ensure a landing spot is prepared for them to land safely. After the communication with the co-pilot and air traffic controller is on one accord, the plane can make a safe landing. When the communication is off, you are ensured of a risky landing or worse. The key thing is to ensure all controls are confirmed and that the instructions of the air traffic controller are followed.

In our marriages, our husbands are the pilots, we are the co-pilots and God is the air traffic controller. We have to communicate effectively with our spouses to ensure our marriage controls are in order. Just like the controls have to be double-checked for accuracy if they are not confirmed to be in order, the same applies for our marriages. We have to commit to ensuring we are on one accord with our spouses and communicating effectively with them, so our marriages can land strong. The best way to do that is to also ensure that we enlist and follow the instructions of God, who is our air traffic controller. If we follow his instructions for our marriages especially in communicating with our spouses, we can have a safe landing.

As you move throughout your day today, think about your communication controls in your marriage, as it relates to talking to your husband about matters of the heart to include the children, the finances, your home, his likes, your likes, his job, your job your spiritual lives and the dreams you both have for your marriage to flourish. If your controls are not as effective as they should be, then pray and ask God to give you wisdom and guidance in working on them individually, and as a couple with God’s help.

Remember, communication is the key to you and your spouse steering the plane to the airport, but God, who is the air traffic controller, paves the way for you to have a safe landing.

Be Blessed Always

James 1:17 tells us that “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of heavenly lights, with whom is no variableness (change), neither shadow of turning.”

Do you remember what birthdays were like when you were a child? You anxiously awaited your birthday gifts so you could unwrap them. You didn’t really know what to expect sometimes, but the excitement of getting that gift was well worth the wait. There would be times when you got your presents on your birthday and others, well they were a little belated, but you still received them and were extremely happy.

Your spouse is like that much anticipated birthday gift. Didn’t you anticipate your wedding day and looked forward to getting with that spouse and bonding as one? Oh yeah, you know what I am talking about! I bet you couldn’t wait to unwrap that gift that you were blessed with on your wedding night. You bragged about your special gift and cherished it initially didn’t you? What has changed so much in how you value that gift?

Look, spouses come in all shapes, sizes, colors and packages, but they are yours and were given by God, just for YOU! Sometimes as with birthday gifts, they are not perfect and may even “break,” but you work to fix the broken part, so you can get many more years of enjoyment out of them. You have waited a lifetime for that special someone to love, cherish and honor for the rest of your life, so isn’t it important and valuable enough to keep working to fix situations when times get tough?

Think about it, don’t you have some toys or items that you may have received when you were a child that you have cherished for many years? They may break, tear or even rip, but you fix them and salvage them because they are special to you. Your marriage is that same special toy that you should cherish and strive to keep fixed every day. It’s yours; you deserve it; God gave it to you; so keep it! Strive to make it work and make the commitment to do your best at trying to make it work.

Remember, God put so much time, effort and thought into choosing that right gift in your spouse for you. he really didn’t have to do it, but he did because he values you and loves you so much, that he took time to choose this special gift just for Y-O-U!! As a matter of fact, he loves you so much that he gave his son, Jesus Christ, as a gift to you! His life for your life! WOW! Imagine that my friend!

Don’t you just love God so much and thank him for your special gift in your spouse? Do yourself a favor and cherish that gift for a lifetime. Why?

Because James 1:17 tells us that ‘Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of heavenly lights, with whom is no variableness (change), neither shadow of turning.”

Believe It!

Because of the man-made day we call Mother’s Day is rapidly approaching we’d like to seize this opportunity to say a few words. First the disclaimer, these thoughts are not derived from the economical status of the world today, but rather from matters of the heart. Mother’s have been around a very long time and needless to say we wouldn’t be engaged in this conversation if it wasn’t for a mother. I don’t mean because they gave birth to us, changed our diapers and wiped our nasty noses, but because a great percentage of who we are morally and spiritually is because of them. They are in most part responsible for all of our basic manners and ability to know right from wrong. Some of us wouldn’t even know how to wash and iron a shirt is it wasn’t for mother. Some of us wouldn’t know what a Sunday school was if it wasn’t for a mother. As a matter of fact some of us wouldn’t have even known how to tie our shoes if it wasn’t for mother. It is a very strange thing now that there had to be a day designated that we celebrate our mothers. Yes I’ve heard the story how Mother’s Day came about, but I’m really concerned that most of us still don’t get it. I see men and women scurrying about like little bees, in and out of drug stores the day before Mother’s Day trying to snag a card from the leftovers on the shelves that look like there had just been an explosion. I’ve seen men and women days before with their faces buried in a computer screen searching for the express delivery gift and the long lines that at the stores that appear to be endless.

Have we become so materialistic that we have forgotten what truly satisfies our souls? Have we forgotten what brought our mothers delight as we grew into adults or have we become so individual that we’ve separated from the kindred spirit of family? What I am about to propose will seem strange to some, but others will see the value almost immediately. I challenge you this year to come out of your comfort zone and enter your mothers. Walk up to that door with a smile and give her the most precious gift any daughter or son could give . . . you. That’s right, give her you. Take her your love, your conversation, your memories from growing up. Just sit with her until she gets tired, wash her feet with care like she did yours, walk with her like she walked with you to school on the first day, hold her hand like she held yours once. Most of all before you walk away from her on that day, tell her how much you appreciate what she did for you. Thank her for her patience, her guidance, her love, her comfort. Thank her for sticking by you when things were really tough. Thank her for smiling in the face of adversity and knowing how to make you feel everything was going to be alright.

Mother’s day is very different than when we were growing up. We are also very different especially the matters of our hearts. Some of us have developed so maturely we can’t see the sincerity in simple things anymore. There is one thing that hasn’t changed in all of the passing of time and that’s mother, she will always be the same. This mother’s day we only want to suggest that you stop, step back and think about those things that are most important to her and not you. Give it a thought at least.

I learned a new Italian word from our 16 y/o son this week, Tempesta. Tempesta means "storm" in Italian. As I was thinking about the word I learned, I began to reflect on the different storms of life. We all have to deal with them in one form or another. It might be a storm of grief, depression, hurt, anxiety, fear, career loss, financial loss or just issues that you consider storms in your life.

But you do know why we have tools (umbrellas, rain boots and rain coats) right? We use our tools and resources to help us deal with those storms and endure them until the sun shines again.

Your tools or resources could be friends, family, faith, religion, running, singing, dancing or whatever you consider helps you endure your Tempesta. Whatever the resource, its yours and it helps you make it through your storm.

On this week, be thankful for every TEMPESTA that you made it through and the resources you had to make it through them. If your sun isn't shining yet, it WILL! But if it is shining, bask in it.

Remember, the storm will pass one day and your sun is destined to shine!

This is officially "Holy Week" across the world. This is a time where Christians, Jews and those that observe the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ celebrate. Yesterday marked the beginning of "Holy Week" with the celebration of "Palm Sunday." OK, so maybe you don't know what it means, but it marked the time that Jesus rode through the streets on a colt, with His followers praising Him for being the "King of the Jews." It is also important to note that most of those same people that praised Him on "Palm" Sunday, were the same ones that sought to have Him crucified by Friday! It certainly puts our life in perspective.

Anyway, we couldn't help but reflect on all of the sacrifices that we believe Jesus made for us. We will never truly know the extent of the pain and suffering that He endured, but it is important to know that we are here today because of His goodness, mercy and agape Love.

It is important that on this week, as well as beyond, that we pray for radical God- inspired change in our lives and the lives of those throughout the world. We need change in our finances, change in our marriage; change in being parents, change on our jobs and change in how we connect with others and wins souls to Christ!

WE NEED CHANGE!

On this "Holy" week, take time to reflect on the goodness of Jesus and all He has done for YOU. Allow Him to use you for His Glory and to do His perfect will in your life!

Have A Be Blessed Week!!!

Have you ever looked at the rain and wondered where it came from and how many droplets are falling? Did you ever take pleasure in playing in the rain and listening to it fall outside your window when you were a child? Now, the amazing thing about rain is that there is a "being" or "force" that exists, that has the ultimate power to supply a flow of rain over the entire earth!

In Theaters March 27, 2009














Click here to see trailer

Black History month is upon us and this year is special for African Americans. We have our first Black president of the United States, Barack Obama, and have jumped a big hurdle. This hurdle is one that was built constantly through many generations of racism, lack of opportunities, lack of quality education and lack of a good quality of life. Now, the people of our country have stood up and said, "NO MORE." They want to ensure that we, as a unified nation, come together and push our country and its occupants forward, through a collective effort of everyone. This is the moment where I say "THANK GOD FOR JESUS!"

But you know, this month is special to me as an African American wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend. I wear many hats, but the one that I want to kick this month off with is that of a wife. I am married to a strong Black man that deserves all the good things God has in store for him. But why does he deserve reverence this month?

God's Word
My husband is so full of the Word of God that I am in such awe. No one can speak it like he can and when he talks, it sends chills up and down my spine.

Wisdom
My husband is full of knowledge and wisdom that he has learned over the years. I can embrace it and pass it on to the next generation.

Patience
My husband has the patience of Job and I think that is enough said!

Strength
My husband stands strong not only in physical strength, but when our family is faced with challenges, he holds us together.

Love
My husband loves me unconditionally in spite of my faults or our differences.

Respect
My husband respects me as his wife, as a mother, as a career woman and as an individual person. He constantly holds me up and give me words of power to soothe my soul.

Cook
I don't think there is a man on this earth that can cook like my husband. He can cook anything and it always taste so good.

Discipline
My husband has so much discipline when it comes to doing anything, especially rearing the kids, which can be challenging sometimes.

Attire
My husband can dress better than the best of them. His ties, shoes, shirts and other attire is always top notch. AND, he can iron better than a cleaners.

Stroll
My husband has this walk that NO MAN can ever mimic or replace. His stroll is so cool, powerful and just manly!

Our Yard
No one can grow flowers, mow the lawn or keep our yard looking so wonderful like my husband. He knows which flowers to grow and which ones look best in each section of the yard. I think our grass is truly greener in our yard!

He is the best ever and I love him so much. I am so Blessed to have him in my life and it's truly a privilege for me to have this opportunity to share my life with him.

Give your husband some love this month and tell him how much of a strong Black man he is. On the other hand, if you are not married to a Black man, then just tell your husband how wonderful and strong he is to you!

When was the last time you took time out of your busy schedule to write your spouse a letter? Not just a list of to-dos, but just a letter saying how much you appreciate them and value having them in your life. Do it today!! Below is something you can use as a start to encourage your spouse on today. My letter is to my sweetheart James but you can add your spouse's name and cater it to you.

Dear James,

I wanted to write this letter to let you know that I am thinking about you and that I love you so much. I know we have our differences and God made us two different people, but He made us just for each other. I appreciate all that you have done for me and all that you continue to do to show your love for me. Thank You!

You make me smile when I don't feel like smiling; you make me happy when I am sad and you bring joy and peace into my everyday worries. For that, I am so blessed to have you as my spouse and I am thankful for you every day.

I cherish each day I can wake up next to you and that we can spend together, whether it's a lot of time or a small block of time. I also cherish each night that we share our bed together; knowing that we can end our night as one holding each other, and letting go of the worries from that day.

I often look up and ask the question, "Can I really be this blessed to have you in my life?" My answer is always a resounding yes because how can I complain about someone as wonderful as you are.

Please forgive me if I have ever done or said anything to hurt you, because I want us walk this journey together in love and a renewed commitment to each other.

So on this day, I wanted to thank you for loving me, thank you for putting up with me, thank you for being patient with me, thank you for making me smile, thank you for serving me and most of all, thank you for being the Godly person that you are.

May God forever bless our marriage not just as a marriage, but as a "holy matrimony," so that as we walk this journey side-by-side and day-by-day, we will remain as one until "death parts us from each other."

Love Always,


Dawgelene (Your wife forever)

What happens when you have been married for more than a year, you don’t feel like newlyweds anymore, and the reality of living the married life has kicked in? Don't you know that your Children, career, ministry, family, in-laws, education and self all affect how you interact with your spouses? This is the person you have committed to spend the remainder of your life with until death due you apart. You both work; have individual interests, have family commitments and then you need time for each other. How do you balance it all out?

We love each other very much and know we are each others soulmate. We both know that we have our individual interests, but we also have each other. We know that it was a part of the awesome plan of God for us to remain faithfully married and continue to work towards inspiring other marriages to succeed. In order for us to do this, we had to come up with a plan to ensure that things outside of our marriage, did not affect the productivity of our marriage.

Here is what we did:

** Daily Prayer- We pray together daily for our marriage, family and time together. We start our day putting God first and then we can focus on the things that He desires for us to accomplish in our marriage.

** Daily Talks- We talk everyday about everything and anything. Whether its related to bills, children, spending time together, cracking jokes or talking seriously. It doesn't matter if we talk in person or on the phone, we just know how important it is to commmunicate with each other every day.

** Daily Physical Contact- This gets kind of tricky because all contact does not have to be sexual. We ensure that we don't leave the house without kissing each other. We do the same thing when we return home. We might grab each others hand in passing, a tap on the shoulder, a shoulder rub, a scalp massage or a lower back rub. Its important to have that contact with your mate.

** Daily care and concern- Nothing is worse than your spouse telling you something important to them and for you to show a lack of concern. When you are communicating with your spouse, its important to give them your full attention, so they will know that you have genuine concern regarding what they are telling you.

** Daily Honesty- Make it a point to be honest with each other. Work through your issues but be honest. Even if it is uncomfortable talking about certain things, pray and seek God in guidance on how to deliver your message.

** Daily Love- Telling someone you love them is one thing, but your action will tell them otherwise. Make it a point to show your love for your spouse everyday. Call them, text them, send them an email, write them a letter, send them an e-card, fix dinner, take them to lunch, buy a rose, buy cologne, buy dinner, buy chocolates or take them to a movie. How ever you show love where your spouse will know it, SHOW IT!!!

God wants us to have marriages that will last and be a blessing to other couples that might be struggling in their marriage. Glorify God by glorifying your marriage in all situations.

Blessedly Yours- James & Dawgelene